英検作文対策:Does social media negatively impact teenagers' social lives?

  •  
  • 130
  • 6
  • 2
  • English 
May 25, 2019 17:57 eiken 英検
I have been honing my essay writing skills to prepare for an English proficiency test that will be held in a week. Would you please correct my essay below?

[Task] Write an essay on the given topic. Structure: Introduction, main body, and conclusion. Suggested length: 120-150 words.

[Topic] Does social media negatively impact teenagers' social lives?

My answer: I think that social media negatively impact teenagers' social lives for the following two reasons.
First, teenagers are much more malleable/susceptible/vulnerable to information. They have not yet learnt so many viewpoints that they tend to easily believe what others say without arguing. The amount of information that they are exposed through social media is too huge to allow them to consider what they should rely on. The flow of information deprives them of their ability of judgement.
Second, the information provided by social media don't encourage them to have objective viewpoints but rather stimulate them to follow and unite the majority. They feel that they should know everything on Twitter to share with their friends to impress they are interesting. That doesn't help to build a sound social life.
For these reasons, I think that social media negatively impact teenagers' social lives.

---

I am not sure what exactly "social life" means. Can someone explain that? I suppose that that means interpersonal relationships, things like going to parties or hanging
out with friends, how the child sees the world?

I was struggling before writing this essay, because I had no idea about this topic. Social media already exist, and like everything else, they have cons and pros. I couldn't decide to agree or disagree with this idea, and I started cleaning the ventilator of the kitchen. I don't know about other countries, but in Japan, I believe that cleaning ventilators is one of the worst popular housework. I was surprised to realise again that I am a master of procrastinating.