英検作文対策:Should English be used as an official language in Japan?

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Apr 28, 2019 18:13 eiken 英検
I have been practicing writing English essays to prepare for an English proficiency test which will be held in four weeks. Would you correct my essay below? The test takers don't have to write their honest opinions, but have to write something quickly with correct grammar and proper terms. Actually, this time I wrote something which is against my honest opinion. If I tried to express my honest one, it would have been very long and taken too much time. The test takers are encouraged to write one in twenty minutes.

[Task] Write an essay on the given TOPIC. Use TWO of the POINTS below to support your answer. Structure: Introduction, main body, and conclusion. Suggested length: 120-150 words.

TOPIC: Should English be used as an official language in Japan?
POINTS: Globalization, Communication, Oversea sales, Civil life

My answer: I think that English should be used as an official language in Japan, and there are two reasons for this.
First, Japanese economy and society have hindered from globalization due to our monolingual culture. If English is ruled as an official language in Japan, the government would promote the language Education at school more positively.
Second, the increase of English speakers in Japan would give not only our civil lives but also foreigners' ones the sense of security. The population of English speakers from the residents who came from foreign countries is not very high, but still, it would come impressions as "Japan is a safe country and good to live in."
It is for these reasons that I think that English should be used as an official language in Japan.

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I am aware that I made a lot of mistakes. I can write essays relatively quickly, but I am struggling finding another expression or another logic, when I am unsure about my spelling.