英検作文対策:Should vaccination be mandatory in public schools?

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May 19, 2019 00:21 eiken 英検
I have been honing my essay writing skills to prepare for an English proficiency test that will be held on the 2nd of June. Would you please correct my essay below? I would be grateful if you could show me more proper ways to express my opinion.

[Task] Write an essay on the given topics. Structure: Introduction, main body, and conclusion. Suggested length: 120-150 words.

[Topic] Should vaccination be mandatory in public schools?

My answer: I think that vaccination should be mandatory in public schools for the following two reasons.
First, vaccination offered in public schools is effective to prevent an epidemic of diseases such as flu, measles, or encephalitis. After the vaccination against flu or rubella was discontinued in Japan, those diseases have been becoming social issues. Every year the flu epidemic suffer the Japanese society. What makes it harder is that the flu epidemic occurs frequently like waves. Also, the younger generation suffer from infertility or children's deformity due to lack of the immunity to rubella.
Second, offering vaccination in education improves people's knowledge and helps them to raise awareness about health and diseases. The very first purpose of vaccination is not to prevent individual's becoming sick, but to prevent an epidemic. However, this basic knowledge has not been known widely yet. Some people even insist that they don't have to get an injection because vaccination is not effective enough to prevent illness to the 100 percent. If vaccination against flu starts to be offered at school, not only children but also adults could have opportunities to learn more and properly about vaccination.
For these reasons, I think that vaccination in public schools should be mandatory.