I am practicing essay writing to prepare for an English proficiency...

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Aug 30, 2019 00:12 英検 eiken
I am practicing essay writing to prepare for an English proficiency test. If you show me more proper ways to express my opinions, I would be grateful.

Task: Write an essay on the given topic. Use two of the points below to support your answer. Structure: Introduction, main body, and conclusion. Suggested length: 120-150 words.
[Topic] Agree or disagree: Pet owners should be licensed
[Points] discarded pets, government interference, pet ownership, cost

--- Please correct my essay below
I agree with the idea that pet owners should be licensed, and I have two reasons to support my opinion.
First, as the population of pet owners has been increasing, animal abuse has been a serious issue. Many pets are discarded and they end up being killed. In Japan, animal breeders sell young, cute animals at pet shops. You can buy them easily without thinking that they will become old some day. Only money is required for having pets. The lack of pet owners' responsibility and knowledge causes the high number of abandoned pets.
Second, living animals requires special skills. Pet owners must know how to take care of them. If they are not taken good care of because of their owners' ignorance, they cannot enjoy a long, healthy life. Pet owners should be required to pass a test about care for animals. Requiring people to get a pet license encourages them to think about pet ownership more seriously. This would lead pet's welfare and reduction of the number of abandoned animals.
It is for these reasons that I believe there must be legislation to guarantee pet owners' capability.

Thanks in advance!