英検作文対策:Video games are bad for kids

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May 26, 2019 19:02 eiken 英検
I have been practicing writing English essays to prepare for an English proficiency test that will be held next Sunday. Would you please correct my essay below?

[Task] Write an essay on the given topic. Structure: Introduction, main body, and conclusion. Suggested length: 120-150 words.

[Topic] Video games are bad for kids

My answer: I think that video games are bad for kinds for the following two reasons.
First, young children and teenagers are susceptible to addiction. Video games are produced to attract players so that they will gladly pay extra money to the game company. When they are once hooked on a game, they only think of continuing playing it and forget everything else in the world, including their family, friends, or school. Game addiction negatively impacts children's social lives.
Second, kids tend to not be able to differentiate facts from fictions. Being absorbed in a game clouds their judgement of what is real. Learning code of conduct from video games doesn't contribute to the formation of a good personality.
For these reasons, I think that video games are bad for kinds.

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Not only for kids but also adults, I think. I once lived with someone who was addicted to video games, especially he was hooked on a certain game. Since then, I can't stand to hear electrical sounds of a short music piece repeatedly played. Playing a melody repeatedly to a person can be enough torture. So, I don't play video games myself.