FOR VANESSA

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Jun 10, 2014 07:18
FOR VANESSA

Halleluja Vanessa.
How I'd like to step back in time, my great friend, my truly love my smashing pumpkin, and all! Ah, If I could just go back and catch you while you were falling down, falling dawn, falling down and then just dust, you fade away.
Oh Vanessa, if I could just step back in that time we were laying down on the floor listent to the saddest music ever, you remember? oh our Mellon Collin and his truly infinitye sadness, oh where is he now? where? I can just remeber the cover of that album, all in blue. Ah my friend, my friend, that was the begining of everything, me and you, two weirdo at school, you lesbian straight and crazy, me retard poet and rude. Can you remember? Our secrets, our misery, our beautiful destiny that it was going to happen, it was just going to happen! And I betrayed you. Your trust, my word, I betrayed all my promises, all our friendship,I betryed you for all that time that we've looked at each other in happy crazy mysterious and funny way. We were ugly, none noticed us at all. I was fat, you a skeleton, I was pathetic you hysterical, but we had fun, didn't we?
We used to go up the hills with your little scooter, you always had an extra helmet for me. It was dangerous, really dangerous, our love, our beautiful love, it was really dangerous. I don't know what I could say now,
"If you have to go don't say goodbye
If you have to go don't you cry
If you have to go I will get by
Someday I'll follow you and see you on the other side"
Please forgive me. It was my fault. I met that girl that was meant to be mine for ever and I left you alone with an excuse and then another one. It was unfair. I used to go to bed with your voice in my head and I swear that I remember all your loves, male and female, your fights, your punches ,the night you had sex for the first time, your tears, your illness, yes because you were ill when I met you, your smell and your beautiful smile. I remember everything, even that times that I met you after our separation. Oh Vanessa, If I could just step back in time and catch us where we were togheter, ten or more years ago! I would like to listen again to your drama-comic adventure, your parents paranoic telling off, your bones attached to mine, and me. I'd like Vanessa that you could step back in time and take me back home,to my mother, to my brother to that world that it is no real anymore. I'd like that you could take back a different me, the old one! The guy that used to love everything, have trust in himself, count stars, read poems aloud, take your hand and have faith, have faith and no fear. That would be great Vanessa. Really great!
As that time we listend to Halleluja, Jeff Buckley's Halleluja, and warm beautiful tears went down your beautiful face, your skinny love!