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Jan 9, 2020 15:59

Giada was her name. We lived together for a while. We were family, as people 'd say. She was friend roommate companion and maybe more. As two night owls whispering secrets telling stories, driving a junk car in the countryside, with the windows dows, singing a silly billy song that I have forgotten now.

That was Giada. One night we met in the dim light of our kitchen room, drinking water, trying to sober up after another night of too much alcool and drugs. "So... you are too funny tonight. What did you take?, I asked...

(You touch my arm, we are happy together but we don't even know ...we say no, we deny it. I say that I hate you and you say the same to me, gigglingly)

So that night you felt asleep on the couch, we were about to...I don't know but, before that, you mentioned going to the cinema to see movie and turned out to be a weird one, almost meaningless. Your phone kept ringing and you had to leave the room twice, that may be the reason for not getting it. Anyway, the title was "se mi lasci ti cancello" meaning "if you leave me, I erase you." Don'see it, Alessandro, was your advice and I tried to remember it so to make sure I won't end up watching it by any chance, wasting my time.

Few years after my best friend Nicola and I moved together to the city to fully enjoy univetsity life. We were both going through some very hard break-ups. He asked me what I believed it was the most romantic movie I ever watched. I don't know, I replied, maybe "Life is wonderful'?. He took up a CD and put on a movie telling me to watch it carefully. It was in English with English subtitles. Its title was "The eternal sunshine of a spotless mind".
In a couple of hours, two males, young adults, are both in tears, at the end of the movie. We sighed, drank coffee and talked about the movie's philosophical point of view. We both found it compelling. Before going to sleep I asked what was the title in Italian. He said. "Se mi lasci ti cancello" I smiled.

I went to sleep thinking how badly it ended with her. We hurt each other very much, so much that I had to leave. I didn't even know where she was, and by the way and -for what it worth- I still don't. In a moment, all was over, only the memories lasted. But I discovered I didn't care about all the memories; you know? I cared 0 about them. I just wanted to meet her again and to start over. Because she was special. She was mine. I did love her, I realized then but time had wasted our lives as... life goes by...

The song we used to sing -I remember now- it goes like this "When you'll be back/ we are gonna conquered the world/like many years ago/when life was so simple".