Mom living far whines

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Dec 10, 2019 11:48 Troubleshooter
(This is a translation of a Personal Advice column from a Japanese newspaper.)

I'm a housewife in my 30s. I need help with my parents living in the distance.

I'm an only child and got a job in my hometown. After getting married with my husband, who has moved around a lot because of work, I quit my job after a lot of thoughts and moved to Kanto area.

My father is now suffering from a cancer and his days are numbered. My mother is taking care of him alone; she prepares foods for him and assists him in the bathroom. I image she is in a harsh situation. Recently I've heard her whining. When she sees news on a disaster, she says like, "I wouldn't make it if this happened to me," and whines like, "I can’t find meanings in living alone anyway."

When my school kids have a long vacation, we came back home; however, its travel cost is much high because we are a family of four. When I talked about the cost to my mother, she said straightforwardly,"So what? Your husband is a well-paid worker, isn’t he?" When I return home, I help her in my own way. But since she has complained a lot, I don't feel like going back home.

Normally I don't afford to think about my parents back home and I just sometimes make a phone call or send pictures of my kids to them. What should I do to inspire her?